Tips for Communicating with Central Africans
Within our New Hope FMC church family, we have many people who have immigrated to the United States from Central Africa. In particular, we have people from Rwanda, Burundi, and the Congo. We have had people from Tanzania and Uganda as well, but they mostly lived in those countries by virtue of displacement from their country of origin. You might hear them or leaders in the church refer to the “camps.” Those were (still are) refugee camps that were places people gathered as a result of escaping from wars and other economic and social struggles.
One thing that we’ve never done formally is to teach about the cultural differences between our African immigrants and the American culture. Some of you have engaged and learned, and you can assist in this project by helping the rest of us address what would be most helpful as we lean into our dynamic cross-cultural community. We want to grow in our ability to both communicate, and understand each other, and the only way to do that is to be intentional in learning. Some of us need to develop greater levels of understanding in order to make sure current/urgent needs are being met during this crisis. I thought that now is as good a time as any to address some of the more high-level types of communication challenges and cultural understandings that might hinder our ability to truly connect with each other. With the help of Pastor Olivier and his wife Princess, we are starting a series that will highlight some ways we can improve and understand each other better.
For this week I asked them to explain how communication even works. It will be helpful to know that African culture is what is known as a “high-context” culture. That means that communication is often more about what is not said than what is said. In other words, there is a lot that needs to be understood from body language, culture, and expectations of roles (including gender and family hierarchy) that will never be spoken but must be understood. American culture, on the other hand, is a very “low-context” culture. That means we basically rely on what people say. We don’t rely as much on all the cultural pieces and are less likely for non-verbal cues to dictate the outcome of an interaction. Hopefully, you can see how these differences make for some very difficult cross-cultural communication right from the start!
What follows is a primer on some basics that Princess and Olivier developed to help us get started. I think it can help right now as we potentially reach out to people to offer assistance, and find ways to meet some very real needs, but with people who might not always be comfortable to express those needs. Let’s all press and learn as much as possible and build bridges during these days when we all need to stick together more than ever before.
Pastor Scott
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Although the Banyamulenge [the name of the people group that most of the African families in our church have in common] have their own unique communication style, most Rwandans, Burundians, and the rest of the Congolese share some commonalities. They tend to communicate indirectly. This means It can be hard to know exactly what they mean if you’re not from these backgrounds. It is true they try to communicate differently when speaking with an American verse an African, but in general, the below scenarios broadly apply.
When there is a crisis or a celebration such as a death, wedding, birth, or graduation, the individuals impacted expect support without having to ask. The persons experiencing hardship don’t usually ask for support, and they don’t expect to be asked about the kind of support they need. The community comes together to decide the types of support that are needed and then give it to them. For example, whether there is a loss or a celebration, members of the Banyamulenge Burundians and Congolese community collect funds for the family in need and share it without being asked. This is how it’s done.
What to know? To Africans, the church community, friends and/or family are expected to help if they know or suspect a person is in need. Those struggling will never ask for help.
Africans in our community tend to have a hard time admitting to a need out of keeping their cultural nobility (the idea that one understands and abides by the practices of his own culture). For example, A Munyamulenge man or woman will say “No” when asked if he/she is hungry even if he/she hadn’t eaten for a period of time and is truly starving. In their culture, one must insist on offering them food and should actually put food on the table. They will then eat for they are indeed hungry. It is just understood between Banyamulenge people.
What to know? Insisting on providing help is not a bad idea when there is a hint that a person might be in need. Better yet, offering/giving help and/or support just like one would as a gift is acceptable.
Congolese people, in general, are known for hiding their basic needs. A Congolese would rather dress in an expensive outfit even if they are not able to afford food for that day. They are more likely to tell stories of a good meal they had at home just so no one thinks they hadn’t eaten. It is a good idea to provide support if the need is identified instead of asking about the need.
What to know? Don’t be fooled by the appearance of our colorful African outfits and styles. If you suspect a need, decide on the kind of support and provide it. Even if you’re wrong, don’t hesitate. The kindness of your gesture will go a long way.
What to know? A person from these communities may wonder if someone really wants to help/support if they are asking how to help instead of just providing help/support. Therefore, they will often respond with a “No” when asked even if a need really does exist.
In summary, the main takeaway is that people from these communities come from a collectivist culture which is different from an individualistic culture. These groups of people put an emphasis on sharing the care/load. Maybe that is why they don’t expect being asked about their needs
Blessings🏿
Olivier &Princesse